Bouquets and Brickbats

The smiling infant gets cuddled; the howling infant gets frowned upon. Bouquets and brickbats are two sides of the same coin called Life. We all get our share of both. Toddlers get candy when they say their first word, and are admonished if they refuse to potty train. In school, if you’re academically brilliant or good in sports…… good for you. If not, then you’re the butt of your friend’s jokes and at the receiving end of your teacher’s lashings.

Till date, I remember a schoolmate of mine being addressed as ‘fat lump of corruption’ by our teacher in school. If I can still remember this, 35 years down the line, I am sure, the concerned student will never have forgotten it till date. While compliments go a long way in lifting our spirits, and boosting our self-esteem, criticism is the bitterest pill to swallow.

Much as we hate being criticized, we know that we never can escape it completely. There has been no person to date who has not received brickbats. So how does one deal? How does one take brickbats on one’s chin and not get bruised emotionally?
This question is even more important at the workplace.
When you’re a part of a large organization, criticism from your boss or peers, is inevitable.
How will you cope?


The first step is to ensure that you do not react or flare up.
You’re not a chemical, remember?
Now this is easier said than done…… but is the only way forward.
This is the reason why the new concept of Emotional Intelligence is gaining importance as a deciding factor while choosing candidates for a job.
You may be a great player individually but are you truly a team member is the question.
In order to effectively handle criticism, one needs first of all to be calm…as mentioned earlier.


Then, reflect on what was said with a cool mind.
Think if there could be even an iota of truth in what has been said.
The truth is often not easy to face. Hence, you have to be brutally honest with yourself. If you feel, after introspection that the criticism was unjustified, and then feel free to chuck it out of your mind. Whether you want to justify your stand to the concerned person is your call, but do not let it bother you further.
If, however you feel that there is some merit to the criticism, acknowledge it. Accept that we are all human, and to not be right at all times or good at everything is okay.
Perfection, after all is a myth.
This should not deter you however, from resolving to change for the better.
If you’re looking for perspective, you could speak to a close friend or relative to gain clarity.
But please do not make it a survey, by asking too many people for advice. You are the best judge of your own character!!


Your reaction to criticism should also be based on the person criticizing you.
If, you know for a fact that he/she is your well-wisher or someone close to you who would know you well, and have your wellbeing at heart, then please pay more heed to it, than if it doled out by someone who you’re not close to or who does not know you too well.
Coming now to ……..bouquets. Who doesn’t like them?
Yet very often, manipulative flattery may be used for people to get what they want out of you.
Hence, even where the praises go, please reflect whether they are justified or not.
Only you would know best!!
Soooo…..enjoy your life with all its bouquets and brickbats but try to take neither to heart!! Ciao!!